“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”
Shannondale, the retirement community where my parents reside, is populated with a delightful cast of characters, geezers of all shapes and sizes, with their own peculiarities and geriatric charm. One of my favorites is Julia (the Belle of Monteagle), who was the It Girl of the Old Folks Home until a series of unfortunate events.
Julia is a Southern belle, born and bred, and she summers in a small exclusive enclave on the Cumberland Plateau known as Monteagle. Julia was renowned for her lovely parties, her impeccable fashion sense and her prowess at the bridge table before Alzheimer’s reared its ugly head and landed her in Shannondale. She made the move with her ancient but still mentally adroit husband Walter (pronounced “Wal-tah” in Julia’s thick-as-syrup Southern drawl). Walter made it to 101 but has since passed on to his reward shortly after an infamous Thanksgiving dinner at my house, but that is a story for another time.
Just as Blanche Dubois depended on the kindness of strangers, Julia relied on her adoring husband to take care of her as she succumbed to the cruel embrace of dementia. She may have put a pillow in the microwave, but she never lost her poise and pluck. Or her card smarts. Julia was part of several bridge foursomes, both at Shannondale and also at Cherokee Country Club.
Overheard at the bridge table …
Julia, with guileless charm, to her bridge partner, Chalmers, also afflicted with Alzheimer’s: “Chalmers, do you know where you live?”
Chalmers, flummoxed and somewhat affronted by the inquiry: “Well … no. Do YOU know where you live?”
Julia: “No, I haven’t any idea.”
Chalmers, relieved and in a conspiratorial whisper: “Neither do I. They just drop me off here to play cards and then take me to a different hotel every night.”
Walter didn’t play bridge. But he could regale you for hours with stories from his days as a journalist during World War II, having interviewed Churchill and shared a single malt in the Oval Office with Roosevelt. Or maybe it was Harry Truman. But in my mind, his greatest accomplishment was caring for Julia with indefatigable kindness and undying love. He was a curmudgeonly geezer, but Walter never lost his patience with Julia, despite her disease.
“Waltah,” she’d ask over and over again, “How old ARE you?”
Walter: “Julia, you know how old I am.”
Julia: “No, truly I don’t.”
Walter: “If you round up, I’m almost 200.”
I’m quite sure Julia never thought she’d outlive her husband. And when he died, she was forced to leave the comfortable familiarity of Shannondale, where she and Walter hosted Gmamma and DooDaddy for cocktails and Cheetos in their elegant apartment lined floor to ceiling with oil paintings in gilded frames. Over the nondescript beige carpets, Julia laid opulent oriental rugs, despite the fact that she and Walter regularly tripped over them on their walkers. Hung over the bed they still shared was a glamorous portrait of Julia at the height of her beauty.
Julia took Walter’s death hard. Then she summoned her steel magnolia strength and faced the future, resigned to make the best of a fate she never chose. She was moved to an assisted living facility in Atlanta to be closer to her family. Julia still calls DooDaddy in the middle of the night sometimes in a panic. When he tries to call her back on Walter’s cell phone, there’s no answer. Julia has run away from her new home on occasion and has been seen wandering down Peachtree Street.
Old age is not for the faint of heart, y’all. Or the weak of spirit. Julia is neither. She is lovely and gracious and brave. Her addled mind and her physical frailty can never diminish her humanity.
Julia and Walter on the occasion of Walter’s 101st birthday
Beautiful Story.
I think your parents have a love story like Walter and Julia. It’s a rare and special thing.
Annette, I treasure Walter’s extensive history book about Harriman, TN, a copy of which is in my bedroom bookshelf (big, big book). We were all so blessed to know Walter however tangentially, and his love Julia. I love, love, Chalmers Wilson.
Walter was an truly amazing man. He had one the longest records for perfect attendance at Rotary meetings in the WORLD when he died. We loved him dearly, and I often switched my color-coded card so that I might sit beside him and listen to a story or two. They really don’t make them like that any more.
He was one of a kind, wasn’t he? The poster boy for the Greatest Generation. Walter was a bachelor till middle age when he fell for the glamorous Julia. And he adored his wife. Simply adored her.
They were a superb couple! I enjoyed doing breakfast at Shannondale on several occasions! Oh, to stand so talk in the golden years. Well done, Laura!
Fondly,
Kee
Weren’t we lucky to know them, sis? And they were such a blessing to our parents. I don’t think Gmamma would have moved to Shannondale if it hadn’t been for Julia. And remember how tickled DooDaddy was to be invited to join Julia and Walter’s “drinking club”?
Julia and Walter were my favorite couple in my in-law’s social circle.
I know, right? They were golden.
Just wonderful. Makes me so sad that she’s not at Shannondale anymore…
Me too, Em. Gmamma and DooDaddy miss her so.
My great-grandfather, Big Da (aka Wal-tah), was the best!
Indeed he was!
Julia is so lovely and much admired….our friendship began at First Presbyterian doing flowers…..there were only a few she would arrange with and I was one of her chosen few! We then became partners hosting a wonderful fashion and clothes show brought to Knoxville by “The Colonel” from Nashville! All of our friends modeled and then we would purchase the wonderful finds he said were “straight from New York”….not so sure but we thought we looked great and had the most up to date styles at bargin pricing
Julia and Walter then began inviting whomever I was dating over for drinks to look him over and give me advise on if they were worthy or not…. I should have listened on the last! Lol
“Julia and Walter Extornaire” ! Truly gems and such golden memories with such wonderful friends!
You’ll be just like Julia, Libby – you’ll grow old gracefully. And stylishly 😉
This update makes me sad, although I glad to hear about Julia and Chalmers. Beautiful souls inside and out. Walter was too.
I would kill to have this kind of love story.
You and me both, sister 😉
Laura, I am delighted that I stumbled on Geezer Stories after hearing your “chapel talk” at Webb! The stories of your parents and others like Julia and Walter make me so happy. My mother and daddy still live in their house a mile from me. Mother LOVES to tell stories as daddy just sits and listens. They don’t go anywhere without the other, except for the beauty parlor (yes, she still calls it that), and when she does go, she takes his keys to his truck so that he won’t leave the house. We will be celebrating dad’s 84th birthday on Sunday. I don’t know if he will remember on Monday that it was his birthday on Sunday, but who cares! Otherwise, they are vibrant and alive! Your blog is exactly what I needed this weekend. Thank you!
Terri, it was wonderful to see you at Webb — despite all the changes, our alma mater still feels like home to me. And thanks for your kind words about my blog. Gmamma still calls it the beauty parlor too, and DooDaddy walks her there every other Tuesday morning (even though it’s just down the hall). How wonderful that your parents are still at home and still have each other. Birthday Love to Coach Tarvin XXOOO