“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

Gmamma is literally wasting away. She’s loses five pounds every time we go to the doctor. After picking on her to lose weight for the past 59 years, DooDaddy finds himself in the unfamiliar role of Boost pimp, Ensure pusher, peddler of Baby Bel cheeses. Anything to stabilize Gmamma’s weight. He and Gmamma are like Jack Sprat and his wife in reverse.

My mother still eats ice cream. It’s genetic and it might be the one gene I didn’t inherit from her. “McClures love ice cream,” DooDaddy explains, referencing Gmamma’s side of the family, as she waits patiently for her monkey dish of Moose Tracks after every meal.

Once Gmamma opined that she’d like to try a Bojangles Cheddar Bo. Well, she can cross that off her bucket list now. And on a  scale of 1-10, she gave it “about a 9.”

So this year, when Gmamma said she’d like to eat sliders for her birthday, because she’d seen them advertised on TV, I first had to clarify that she meant those mini-hamburgers that are ubiquitous in sports bars. Yup. That’s what she wanted – birthday sliders. Her electric blue eyes lit up at the very idea!

My Facebook community was helpful with recommendations ranging from upscale (Cru) to low-brow (Krystal) and everything in between. I did my own research, calling LongHorn Steakhouse (after scouting their flat, geezer-friendly parking lot), but their sliders are shaved prime rib. Too fancy. DooDaddy suggested Applebee’s, but when I called to inquire, they said they no longer served sliders. They were on to the next trendy pub grub. I even sampled sliders at an after-hours business gathering at Crown & Goose, a geezer favorite, but they were like bocce balls on buns. Didn’t cut the mustard (pun intended and borrowed from my fellow slider taster, Sharon).

We finally settled on Ruby Tuesday, after vetting their sliders as not being blackened, BBQ or otherwise too exotic for Gmamma’s discriminating palate. She’s like Mikey on the old Life cereal commercials. She hates everything. But no indeed, they were actual burgers, two to a serving, with a fried pickle skewered on top and a side of fries.

So the geezer family road trip was on, despite the snowflakes swirling and the fierce wind blowing. We piled in Joan Jetta, walkers tossed in the trunk and geezers buckled safely in the front and backseat. Gmamma was heard to remark as we disembarked from the vehicle, “People are gonna wonder why you got us old people out on our walkers in this weather.”

For birthday sliders, of course! And because 90(ish) is the new 80.

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Gmamma savors her birthday sliders